There is a natural decrease in socialization when you get older, which can be because of many simple and complex reasons. When you get older, you have more responsibilities, such as caregiving, career demands, and family obligations. There are also other potential issues, such as health and mobility. Aging can limit many opportunities to being able to engage in social activities. As men go into middle age and above, these concerns can take up a lot of time and energy, which means there is less time for social interactions.
Quality means more than Quantity.
As you get older, you realize that the quality of your friends means more than how many friends you’ve got. Having good friends surrounding you can boost your mood dramatically, but this could mean you only have two friends. This could impact social life because you’ve got to juggle lives around each other. One person shared, “I see most social events as fake pleasantries with people I’ll never see again. Put me in a bar with 30 unknown people, and I’m quiet as a mouse, but put me in my backyard with a good friend, and you can’t shut me up. The quality of relationships matters more than Quantity.”
Doesn’t need extra socialization
When you get older, you don’t necessarily feel the need to socialize as much as you used to. When you’ve spent your entire life surrounded by people, sometimes the silence is better. One man said, “I work a lot with people all day, which I enjoy, but I have to unwind at the end of the day/weekend. I do my socializing at work. I don’t need extra socialization other than that.”
I would rather hang with my dog.
This is entirely understandable. Dogs become a part of the family, and being around them can boost serotonin. A gentleman said, “I’m 47, and my kids are almost grown. I’ve spent most of the last 25 years doing nothing but working, providing, and volunteering for sports and organizations that my kids were involved in. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time trying to have a social life on top of everything else. Now, I couldn’t give two sh*ts about socializing, and I am thrilled being at home puttering, hanging out with my dog, or just doing nothing. My wife still enjoys socializing with friends and going out, but I prefer my dog’s company over hanging out with friends.”
The Pandemic
Buried deep within our brains is the 2020 COVID pandemic. A time that we never wish to experience again and a time that impacted everyone. During this time, there was a lot of isolation, and people were still trying to recover from the lack of socialization. However, one Reddit user said, “I’m severely introverted. The Pandemic destroyed what little of a social life I had as I’m high risk. The world has changed for me. It takes me longer to recharge after going out. It’s hard for me to make friends as an older man. My interests (gaming, video games, food) gave me the “old man” of the group as age slows me down.”
I want peace and quiet.
A man mentioned on Reddit, “I work full time, then deal with kids after work. I get about an hour each day of time to myself. Any other free time I have, I just don’t want to be around anyone else… just want some peace and quiet.”
Socialising is draining
When you spend a lot of time socializing, you take up a lot of brain power, which can be tiring. A user said, “Socialising really drains the life out of me, and I need to retreat for longer periods. Making plans, going out, and spending money feels like a chore. I’m just over it now.”
Not my friends
One man said, “All of “my friends” are, in actuality, my wife’s friends’ husbands. I don’t have long connections with them, and most are not the type of guy I want to hang out with. I talk to my friends often because we play online games and we’re all in different locations. Online gaming with my friends is more than enough socialising for me.”
I already lived that social life.
A lot of us socialize from a very young age, and this doesn’t stop at any point until we’ve had enough of it. One top-liked comment said, “When I was in high school and college, I was out non-stop. There literally wasn’t a party or bar I wasn’t at. I remained that way into my late 20’s. I’m just over 40 with two young kids, a wife, and many responsibilities. I just don’t have time for other people. If I never go out again, I’m good. I lived that life for many decades.”
Quit Drinking
Another top-liked comment said, “Once I quit drinking, there was no reason to go out anymore. Giving up alcohol feels like I got a new second life, and I want to enjoy it. My life is great now. I’m married with children and a great job. I can finish projects around the house instead of leaving them 90% complete. When I was going out constantly, I never got anything done.”
Time to Recharge
Another Reddit user said, “I have so much less time to myself and very little time to relax and recoup than I’ve ever had in my life. If it’s a Friday evening and I have a chance to relax by myself with some popcorn and a movie vs. going out to see my good friends? I’m sorry, I love my friends, but I really need that time whenever or however I can get it.”
No friends
One poster said, “I have no friends, and I don’t seem to be making new ones either. It’s fine, though. I understand why older guys have maybe one or two friends max.”
Health issues
Health issues, at any age, can prevent us from doing all sorts of things, including being sociable. One man said, “I’m 33, and because of some… let’s call them health issues, I shut myself in for a long time. I recently started going out a lot again with friends, which is exhausting. I want to sit with a couple of buddies, play board games, and drink beers.”
The Snacks are at Home
One user said, “I’m 25 and don’t want to go out with people, rather just stay at home with my cat and play Xbox with my friends. Way less effort, more comfortable, and there are always snacks around in case I get hungry.”
I would rather do what makes me happy.
Another Reddit user said, “I feel like as I get older, time passes a little faster, and I don’t want to waste time doing stuff I don’t want to do. I’d rather spend my days doing what I want. Makes me happy.”
Being Alone is Rare
One commenter stated, “I was always a bit of a loner, I was social in my younger years, but now I’m in my mid-forties, and my favourite times are when I’m alone. I love being alone and alone time is rare with 3 kids, a wife, and a full-time job. So if going out means I give up my alone time, I’ll 100% choose to hang with myself every time.”
Tired and Broke
One user said, “I work 10 to 13 hours most days. Then I still have to fix all the broken or worn-out stuff around the house and cars. Going out usually costs me more money, which I’m struggling to make enough of because I don’t get any overtime or compensation for my extra work. My wife and I are paying for multiple college educations. I’m just tired and broke AF.”
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