People attend therapy for various reasons; whether it’s a past or present issue, it’s likely bothering you, and you need to find some tools to cope and manage better. Therapists can help with this, and it is said that some people find it hard to open up to mental health professionals, especially when they make first contact. We often feel uncomfortable or uneasy because we often wonder what our therapists are writing down or what they might first notice about us.
Most therapists are trained in spotting behaviors and subtleties that you might not even know you’re doing for them to identify the most effective treatment plan for you. A licensed mental health counselor, Katie Bingner, LCPC, said, “Non-verbal communication means different things across different cultures, so consideration must be taken.” Even though many therapists notice these things about you during the first meeting, they gather insights, all while aiming to improve your mental health.
Your Tone of Voice
Therapists must listen to what their client is saying, not just listen. It could indicate a person is sad or embarrassed if they speak softly and slowly. Dr. Schiff explained, “They may be sharing something painful or hard to talk about, or maybe something they haven’t shared before.” A therapist might notice that a person is feeling nervous and fearful or has the potential to be dishonest if they are talking faster than usual or adding a higher pitch. A sign of depression could be a person talking flat and monotonous.
Your Clothing
Dr. Holly Schiff, PsyD, said, “I take note of their clothing.” This is a good way of checking if someone is in distress or depressed because if a therapist is faced with a client who looks like they haven’t washed in a while or presents themselves in a manner in which they seem like they don’t care, then it may be an obvious indication.
Speech Patterns
How you speak and the patterns in which you say things can tell a therapist a lot about you. Ashley J. Smith, PhD, said that “what ifs” signal a worry process, often associated with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Another red flag is hearing a lot of “yeah buts.” For example, if something goes well, but there’s a response of “Yeah, but I just barely got through it,” this is a cognitive bias called discounting the positive. These issues are a risk factor for anxiety and depression.
Your Appearance
“Hygiene and grooming are other physical indicators I look for that can provide insight into how someone is doing,” says Dr. Schiff. Therapists notice dark circles under the eyes, which could be a symptom of lack of sleep or weight loss or gain, which can suggest that certain eating behaviors could be caused by depression or stress.
Your Body Language
Dr. Schiff says, “Body language makes up a large portion of our overall communication, so I notice how people use their bodies to tell their stories.” It says a lot about a person for the way they sit. If they are hunched over and unable to sit comfortably, it could be a sign that they’re sad or worried. “People might shift back and forth, turn their body or feet away from the therapist, or slouch in their chair.” Another sign of
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